Bank Balance Skeptic Gifts

" I thought you wanted to know how much you had in your account."

British savings accounts

Standard & Poor

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

Bank Robbery Statistics

"You want to withdraw your money? There's a fee for that."

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."

Bank. 18 month CD 1.0815255645% Paying More digits than any other bank. Interest rates are so low! It's hard to believe this CD has reached maturity --- Just look at how little it's grown! Investing seems extremely risky these days. There's no safe place to get a decent return. They always say investing is a roller coaster. Yeah, but it's not true. On a roller coaster you get back to where you started!

A man at a cash dispenser gives a shocked reaction on reading his bank statement.

'We're worried about your ability to lend us money.'

"Baldo, have you finished your homework?"

'Maybe so, sir, but our motto is, 'A penny saved is a lot of trouble for nothing.''

I don't think we need to resort to medication to help your insomnia...An hour with my accountant should do the trick...Accountancy doesn't NEED to be DULL!

Foreclosure.

"I take it you've never had a bank account before?"

Your Money Back if and when We Feel Like It.

'Oh well, at least it's breaking up the banks.'

"Have you included the loss of my reputation?"

Creative Accounting

Greed Is Getting Back to Normal

Forgot My Mother's Maiden Name.

'We're sorry. Your answer to your secret question was incorrect. Your bank account has therefore been erased from our banking system.'

24hr Loans - Closed all day.

Serious bummer! The bank says I'm overdrawn...those cretins can't tell the difference...between overdrawn and under-deposited.

'Ugh! Savings sprees are so dull.'

Please Deposit $.50 For The Return Of Your ATM Card.

'You want a loan, you say? Ha, Ha, that's a good one!....Where in the world did you hear that banks made loans?!'

"These financials look right. They smell right -- they're either right or very clever."

'I don't condone unethical accounting practices Henderson - On the other hand, I don't frown on a little numeric creativity.'

'Does my overdraft look big in this?'

'Financial secretary gone 'round the bend, or Odalisque with Balance sheet, that is the question.'

Fiscal Hypochondria

'I spent $1,500 on ski equipment, and now not only have I no balance on the slopes, I have no balance in the bank.'

You're really worried about getting stung, aren't you?

'Brand new community bank: no service is more personal.'