Bank Balance Ninja Gifts

A man at a cash dispenser gives a shocked reaction on reading his bank statement.

British savings accounts

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

'Simply put.'

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

Gone Bookkeepin'

'This would be a lot easier, Ms. Sims, if there were a little more margin for error.'

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

"Make it Dow 30,000, and I'll sell you my soul."

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

'Well done! This works much better.'

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

Child stands on Math help books to reach blackboard.

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

Financial Advisor. The next time you let your inner child out to play, don't let him play with your credit cards.

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

"This is Thompson, he has a black belt in budget control."

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

Student to teacher: 'After Accelerated Math I think I deserve a rest.'

"Yow! Thank goodness you've kept costs on a short leash!"

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

"Somehow I thought they'd be a bit SCARIER."

'Do your homework! - You gotta learn math if you want to be a bookie!'

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."

"Gosh, this reminds me of one of my favorite John Lennon lyrics: "Life is what happens to you while you're making other quarterly sales plans."

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

'Don't worry,, I checked the figures with wikopedia.'

'My maths tutor complained about me? Hasn't she heard of mentor-client privilege?'