Bachelor Pad Observer Gifts

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

'...Please stop the...'

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'

Living comfortably with electric appliances.

The Bachelor Chef TV Show. First, remove last night's pizza from the fridge. Then eat cold for breakfast. Shoot! 29 minutes left to kill.

'Have you ever imagined a world without stupid hypothetical questions?'

'One moment, and I'll connect you with a service technician.'

Amoeba mitosis Divorce

'Let's see what's on the war channel...'

'Great. Now I'm going to have cat breath.'

"Everyone's so nosy. They act like they want to be left along, but they're always nonchalantly eavesdropping on everyone else....some more nonchalantly than others."

"I'd love to, but I have a million lonely ritualistic things I need to do."

"I could see my mating dance had caught her eye, so I put more energy into it, but I ended up sweaty and out of breath: she lost interest then. . ."

'Is that a satellite photo?'

'They do have a dog next door but I've been assured he doesn't bark.'

'Uh, i'll pass.'

"That's it?"

'What's the old saying...'

'I bought my dream home, it's a bachelor suite.'

'Professor, Professor, the slaves are, I mean, the PhD students are revolting!'

'Justice delayed means more time for billing.'

City of Round Holes welcomes you to the University of Square Pegs.

'Look what the neighbors were selling!'

'Create Adam before Eve -- He'll need some time to clean up around there a little first.'

'Do you think she'll notice?'

'The carnival has a company car.'

The Day of the Great Parade - Ratapoil and his General Staff - 'Long live the Emperor!'

'I'm back in my skinny jeans!'

'Wet.'

'I'm going to go get these carolers some egg nog.'

'It's quite depressing really: The students have better cars than we have...'

'No offense, but this is a heck of an excuse for a bachelor pad.'

Estate Agent - '...And the area boasts a thriving on-line community.'

Class reunion of money and talent.