Bachelor Pad Advocate Gifts

'I'm going to go get these carolers some egg nog.'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'

Living comfortably with electric appliances.

The Bachelor Chef TV Show. First, remove last night's pizza from the fridge. Then eat cold for breakfast. Shoot! 29 minutes left to kill.

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

'Have you ever imagined a world without stupid hypothetical questions?'

'What kind of...'

'Let's see what's on the war channel...'

'Why should I be a faithful companion when he's horrible to me?'

'One moment, and I'll connect you with a service technician.'

'Great. Now I'm going to have cat breath.'

Amoeba mitosis Divorce

'Dang.'

'Tele-barketer.'

"MY dad says that a man calls himself a bachelor until he gets married. Then he calls himself a bl**dy fool."

"Living Alone - It's just plain fun!"

"I'd love to, but I have a million lonely ritualistic things I need to do."

'Just so long as it doesn't lead to Math tests in church.'

'Okey-doke,'

'Is that a satellite photo?'

'Thank you for another blessed year together.'

'crackle snap crackle pop.'

'Uh, i'll pass.'

"Chips?! Oh yes, in the old days, we used to have chips almost weekly, but then, his girlfriend moved in."

'Sure. That's why I wear open-toed sandals.'

'What's the old saying...'

'I bought my dream home, it's a bachelor suite.'

'You just go out on the lot and mark the tree you want.'

'No. We're having too much fun playing in the box.'

'Your giant zit keeps staring at me!!'

'Dang! I have this nagging feeling that I forgot something.'

Deformed and damaged.

'This could be a new record!'