Bachelor Pad Owner Gifts

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'

'...Please stop the...'

Living comfortably with electric appliances.

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

'Have you ever imagined a world without stupid hypothetical questions?'

Bachelor Cake

"MY dad says that a man calls himself a bachelor until he gets married. Then he calls himself a bl**dy fool."

'Dang.'

'Let's see what's on the war channel...'

Amoeba mitosis Divorce

'Slow and hurl.'

"Living Alone - It's just plain fun!"

'One moment, and I'll connect you with a service technician.'

'I'm coping.'

'Tele-barketer.'

'Dang! Six more hours.'

'Great. Now I'm going to have cat breath.'

'Remember, kids never over inflate your water wings.'

"I'd love to, but I have a million lonely ritualistic things I need to do."

'Just so long as it doesn't lead to Math tests in church.'

'Will you be dining alone tonight, Sir?'

'Okey-doke,'

'What's the special?'

'crackle snap crackle pop.'

'Uh, i'll pass.'

Cult films!

'This could be a new record!'

'Your giant zit keeps staring at me!!'

"How did you come to the conclusion that some people are better suited for single life?"

'Dang! I have this nagging feeling that I forgot something.'

'You just go out on the lot and mark the tree you want.'