Bachelor Pad Decorator Gifts

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'

'Wet.'

'Create Adam before Eve -- He'll need some time to clean up around there a little first.'

'I'm back in my skinny jeans!'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

'I'm not drinking with you anymore after what you did to me this morning. . .'

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

Unfinished Funiture Store.

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'