Bachelor Pad Decorator Pillows

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'

'Wet.'

'Create Adam before Eve -- He'll need some time to clean up around there a little first.'

'I'm back in my skinny jeans!'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

'I'm not drinking with you anymore after what you did to me this morning. . .'

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

Unfinished Funiture Store.

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

Man and woman buying furniture.

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'