Baby-proofers Gifts

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

A young Don King

Interior design trends for parents....

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

'No creamed peas for me today!'

'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'

STRIP *Community Care * Squeezing it all in before lunch

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

Beware of teething baby.

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

A (P)ram.

"You got custody of us, mommy, because you're the very best attorney picker."

"We can't wake her, she's sleepwalking."

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

She Had Enough To Drink.

Please examine your children's tv before they watch it as mistakes can not afterwards be rectified

Rocket priced prams.

'Well those stair gates were a complete waste of money'

Dummy Sucking Area

Parents compare buggies

"I dunno. It just doesn't "feel" like a diaper."

Child Abuse Report

'It's amazing what they let that kid get away with.'

'Papi, kids at school are saying Nora and I are illegal...'

"This is the boy I was telling you about, Daddy...meet Raymond!"

'Yes, I realize that a salt with a deadly weapon is frightening, but I only keep it to protect my family - and I always keep the safety on.

'Stand by for shock waves!'