Baby's Nap Protectors Gifts

"As spokesman for Mary and the whole Joseph family, I've been asked to request you not 'parum pum pum pum' while the baby is sleeping."

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

Doughboy Dad

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

'No creamed peas for me today!'

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

Completely out of diapers and facing a seven-hour layover, Marsha happens upon a diaper scalper.

Daisy Diaper Service

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

'And then the Lord proclaimed, in a loud, thunderous voice...'

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

A (P)ram.

"I hope you remembered to bring something for the dog."

I'm looking for a useful gift for a newborn. Nature's Baby Boutique. We have a large selection of essentials. Here are the 100% organic, fair trade, hand-dyed pashimina diaper covers. Wow! Nothing says "essential" like popped-on pashimina. A little dry-cleaning and it's good as new.

"One coping mechanism I suggest to deal with uncertain times is to eat as much as you can, gain a lot of weight, and then go have a nap for six months or so."

"How is it you only remember the good times?"

I love thunderstorms!

Parents compare buggies

"I'm glad you're not one of those sharks that has to swim all the time."

Dummy Sucking Area

'I bought it off the irregular rack, but I'm hoping he'll grow into it.'

"Where can I get one of those?"

"Sorry...I overslept."

Rocket priced prams.

"I thought I liked babies, but, as it turned out, I mainly like baby clothes."

Baby's high fibre diet

"I dunno. It just doesn't "feel" like a diaper."

Parents sleeping on big pile of nappies while baby sleeps in bed

Sleeping man uses his beard as a book mark.

The arc of time & space: Naptime, primetime, snacktime, warptime.

'That is one absorbent nappy.'

'But that's the baby you took in.'

'My wife says it's compulsory - that the Queen made a speech about it.'

"…Ok, tough guy, see this scar? Prius hit me—didn’t even hear it coming." "I got that beat. Right here: three-year-old woke me from a nap with a fork."