Baby's Nap Protectors Gifts

"As spokesman for Mary and the whole Joseph family, I've been asked to request you not 'parum pum pum pum' while the baby is sleeping."

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

Doughboy Dad

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

'No creamed peas for me today!'

Daisy Diaper Service

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

A (P)ram.

"I hope you remembered to bring something for the dog."

"How is it you only remember the good times?"

"One coping mechanism I suggest to deal with uncertain times is to eat as much as you can, gain a lot of weight, and then go have a nap for six months or so."

I love thunderstorms!

Baby's high fibre diet

"Sorry...I overslept."

"I'm glad you're not one of those sharks that has to swim all the time."

Rocket priced prams.

"I thought I liked babies, but, as it turned out, I mainly like baby clothes."

'I bought it off the irregular rack, but I'm hoping he'll grow into it.'

Dummy Sucking Area

Parents compare buggies

Parents sleeping on big pile of nappies while baby sleeps in bed

"I dunno. It just doesn't "feel" like a diaper."

"…Ok, tough guy, see this scar? Prius hit me—didn’t even hear it coming." "I got that beat. Right here: three-year-old woke me from a nap with a fork."

'But that's the baby you took in.'

Sleeping man uses his beard as a book mark.

'That is one absorbent nappy.'

'My wife says it's compulsory - that the Queen made a speech about it.'

"Nap? I'll nap when I'm thirty."