Childproofing Gifts

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

Interior design trends for parents....

A young Don King

"My plan is to figure out child-proof caps, then move right into hacking."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Pool attached to child's bed.

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

At the rock concert...

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

STRIP *Community Care * Squeezing it all in before lunch

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

Beware of teething baby.

Mobile phone damage to children.

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

Violence against children.

Sharon Shoesmith unlawfully sacked.

"The Johnsons finally get around to child-proofing their home."

'He swallowed a warning label!'

'Well those stair gates were a complete waste of money'

A musical instrument shop is positioned next to a silent treatment shop.

'Is your house baby-proofed?'

Code Red!

"Why are you playing hide-and-seek in the stove!?! Don't shush me! This is my stove!"

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

"Mom is an ER nurse."

Don't Touch Its Burnies.

'They're a bit pricey, but on the other hand, I don't have to buy any baby gates.'

Child Abuse Report

'It's amazing what they let that kid get away with.'