Award Aspirants Gifts

'I'm off to Stockholm to receive the Nobel Prize for Peace.'

'Is there a Nobel Prize for viewing?'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

'My fortune says 'you can't be too thin, or too rich, or have too much computer memory'.'

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

"I'll bet Miss Parker gets teacher of the year for this."

'We're ready to move you to the top, Hopkins... but we don't know how much loneliness you can tolerate.'

'Frank said if he ever won a lot of money from online gambling, he wouldn't change, He lied,'

'Sir Percy is here for his Purple Heart, Sire.'

"That's the shoestring I started with. It was tied around 100 million dollars worth of stocks and bonds."

What I'd really like to do, of course, is direct.

'May I have my allowance in gold bullion?'

'How do you expect me to fine tune my act if you keep taking me to the principal's office?

"Never mind the carrot, where's my f*****g medal?"

'I don't want to be president when I grow up - but I'd like to have enough money to run.'

'Your mum and I are thinking about giving your power of attorney...' - 'Yes! Yes! Yes! I'm rich! Rich!' - '...and now, strangely, I'm having second thoughts.'

'Just because everyone applauded when you dropped your lunch tray in the cafeteria, doesn't mean that you should pursue a career in show business.'

'Yes, well we all like money'

"He quit his job to pursue his dreams."

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

"On the plus side, concussions are way down."

'What shall I do with these old books of yours? '

Pygmy giant squid

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

'If you want to prepare for you retirement, why don't you buy a bank like I did?'

"With symptoms like yours, you could be the next Batman!"

'Sure, I'm a millionaire on paper. Unfortunately, the paper isn't issued by the United States Mint.'

'I want to make a happy home for my family, but I have a strong need to pursue my career as an actress. What a painful conflict for me. If I only had someone to talk to about this.'