Award Aspirant Gifts

A military man dreams of medals dropping like bombs.

'They're not just going to GIVE you a Nobel Peace Prize -- you have to FIGHT for it!'

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

Pygmy giant squid

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

Great training inspires employees: 'I see myself doing you job before too long...'

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

'My fortune says 'you can't be too thin, or too rich, or have too much computer memory'.'

"I'll bet Miss Parker gets teacher of the year for this."

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

'Frank said if he ever won a lot of money from online gambling, he wouldn't change, He lied,'

"That's the shoestring I started with. It was tied around 100 million dollars worth of stocks and bonds."

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

'Sir Percy is here for his Purple Heart, Sire.'

'May I have my allowance in gold bullion?'

"I consider it an honor just to be sitting with someone who's thinking of becoming an actress."

'Jeff! You need to keep one foot on the ground!'

Spin Dentistry...'Hollywood, here I come...'

'I don't want to be president when I grow up - but I'd like to have enough money to run.'

'If this is really Heaven, why do you have a desk job?'

Always stick to the script.

"I was an attorney, but I was also one heck of a nice guy."

"Never mind the carrot, where's my f*****g medal?"

'Your mum and I are thinking about giving your power of attorney...' - 'Yes! Yes! Yes! I'm rich! Rich!' - '...and now, strangely, I'm having second thoughts.'

'Just because everyone applauded when you dropped your lunch tray in the cafeteria, doesn't mean that you should pursue a career in show business.'

'Yes, well we all like money'

"On the plus side, concussions are way down."