Broadway Aspirant Gifts

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'They all want to play the star.'

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

What else is there to wish for?

'Who do you think you're kidding, Slim? — the ruby slippers are a dead giveaway!'

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

All our servers are locally caught from a sustainable source — the actors' academy across the street.

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

"First let me say that your father and I really, really wanted to like your performance."

"When I grow up, I want to be a Presidential impersonator on 'Saturday Night Live.'"

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

'I'm playing a crowd member in the Easter pageant. I was going to play Pilate 'til I found out I'd have to wash my hands.'

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

A panhandler with a sign that reads "I'll never work in this town again!".

'Good lick with your future acting career. And just to give you an idea of how tough it is out there, here's a copy of 'Withnail and I'. The uncut version.'

Animal Musicals

'Nothing doing folks, except ? surprise, surprise ? here's another for you, Desert Island Bloke.'

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

'Forgettable' - The Hit Musical

Always stick to the script.