Broadway Aspirant Gifts

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'They all want to play the star.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

What else is there to wish for?

'Who do you think you're kidding, Slim? — the ruby slippers are a dead giveaway!'

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

Mr. K's essay is such a drag! Yeah, but I've got to do really well. Twig! You're such a grind! Am not! Life isn't only about grades. I know! But he's directing the spring musical. And my singing won't get me the part all by itself! English: Gateway to the Grammys.

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

'So, you think you can just waltz right in here and start making movies, Mr, Astaire'

Fred Astaire

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

So close... Yet so far.

"First let me say that your father and I really, really wanted to like your performance."

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

"When I grow up, I want to be a Presidential impersonator on 'Saturday Night Live.'"

All our servers are locally caught from a sustainable source — the actors' academy across the street.

Henry Fonda

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

'Nothing doing folks, except ? surprise, surprise ? here's another for you, Desert Island Bloke.'

Animal Musicals

A panhandler with a sign that reads "I'll never work in this town again!".

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

'I'm playing a crowd member in the Easter pageant. I was going to play Pilate 'til I found out I'd have to wash my hands.'

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

'Good lick with your future acting career. And just to give you an idea of how tough it is out there, here's a copy of 'Withnail and I'. The uncut version.'

Sammy Davis Jnr.

'Forgettable' - The Hit Musical