Aspiring Star Gifts

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

Sign outside a movie studio: Standing in line Auditions.

The peer review of your video consultation was fairly negative...but the good news is that it's got you a bit part on Emmerdale.

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in T.V. commercials!'

"I can't figure out what's going on with him—he should have been a star by now."

"Hi, I'm Ron. I'll be your waiter this evening. Previously, I was Billy Bigelow in the Center Moriches production of 'Carousel,' Biff in the Yardley Playhouse's 'Death of a Salesman,' Nathan Detroit in Oakland's 'Guys and Dolls,' Laertes in . . ."

"When my fifteen minutes of fame come, I want to make sure I capitalize on them."

"I consider it an honor just to be sitting with someone who's thinking of becoming an actress."

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

Spin Dentistry...'Hollywood, here I come...'

"I'm really an actor. I'm just doing this until I'm offered the right roll-er."

Always stick to the script.

"The results have come back. I'm afraid he doesn't have the X-Factor."

'Jeff! You need to keep one foot on the ground!'

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

Struggling actor, Matt Johnson, was thrilled to have finally gotten top billing.

'They all want to play the star.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

What else is there to wish for?

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

'I know I'm still in the Juniors, but I already need a therapist.'

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"I've been genetically modified!"

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

"Next, I'd like to play 'Guantanamera.'"

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

Mr. K's essay is such a drag! Yeah, but I've got to do really well. Twig! You're such a grind! Am not! Life isn't only about grades. I know! But he's directing the spring musical. And my singing won't get me the part all by itself! English: Gateway to the Grammys.

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

Directors chairs on movie set with Model, Actress, and Whatever on them

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

So close... Yet so far.