Aspiring Movie Star Gifts

'The casting director said I shouldn't ring them, they would ring me, but that was 10 years ago!'

"I can't put you in the movies, but I can put you on my website."

I'm a nonentity - resurrect my career

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'They all want to play the star.'

'We'll send you to acting class when you're older. For now, get up and get ready for school.'

A father films his family while imagining himself as a director

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

Directors chairs on movie set with Model, Actress, and Whatever on them

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

'I don't mind playing dead. But what I would really like to do is direct.'

"This area is popular with would-be actresses and models,we call it 'Silicon Implants'."

"I'm not sure I'd want fifteen minutes of fame. Mum would only follow it with fifteen minutes of criticism."

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

"When I grow up, I want to be a Presidential impersonator on 'Saturday Night Live.'"

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

Stage producer.

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

'I was only famous for 14 and a half minutes.'

A panhandler with a sign that reads "I'll never work in this town again!".

'While my guitar gently creeks.'

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

"Actually, I'm a singer-songwriter bird."

"So I hear you did your own stunts in this movie."