Aspiring Playwright Gifts

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'They all want to play the star.'

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"I try to write a little bit every day."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

'I can't promise you a best seller but I can give you fifteen minutes of fame.'

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

'Publshing Books for Dummies.'

"What made you start blogging about success?"

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

Child steps off chair and says, 'Tough crowd.'(Cat looks impassive)

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

'Mummy, Mummy, I've been practising the whole afternoon: Wanna hear my evil laugh?'

"Right here's the problem, apparently you have a novel in you"