Literary Aspirant Gifts

"I never have time to read but if I did these are the books I'd read."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"I try to write a little bit every day."

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

'It's my application to Harvard...'

'I can't promise you a best seller but I can give you fifteen minutes of fame.'

'Publshing Books for Dummies.'

"What made you start blogging about success?"

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

Hold for one more page, then roll over into the bended elbow, resting chin pose. Book yoga.

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

"Right here's the problem, apparently you have a novel in you"

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

"I fell I have a great novel me."

"Ambitions. . . To . . . Er. . . Um . . . Become. . . Er. . . Um. . . A. . . Er. . . Um . . . Motivational. . . Er. . . Um. . . Speaker."

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

'Actually, the entire novel is a metaphor of me getting rich from the movie rights.'

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

I'm the bluebird of happiness, and I'm on a book tour. Make Your Own Happiness.

'On Company Time: A Novel'

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'