Literary Genius Wannabe Gifts

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Bookworm Sleepover

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"I try to write a little bit every day."

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

The Proust of Twitter

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

Emily Dickinson Rebooted

"Isn't it obvious? I'm writing the great American graphic novel."

"What made you start blogging about success?"

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

'Publshing Books for Dummies.'

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....