Literary Genius Gifts

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

'Stop staring at me!!!'

"You say 'oxymoron' once more and there's going to be trouble."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

The central metaphor of her novel was a fly.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"I feel bad about Nora Ephron's neck."

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

'There's a syntax error in line 125010.'

The captain had longe suspected the impending mutiny. But from who?

Writer's Block Party

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

Anna Burns

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

"See - that's how he's able to write all those plays."

"There's an editor out here with an unsolicited manuscript lodged in his throat."

'Brilliant writing, Mr. Fenswick, but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on your 'How to Commit the Perfect Crime'!'

'Tell me more about your avatar, Dr. Jekyll.'

'Love your blog. Very Jane Austen.'

Laurence Sterne

The Overturned Desk - Therapy for writer blocked authors and artists,

"No wonder you're struggling with your novel. You're not wearing your writer's hat."

"How's this? 'Quoth the Raven, Nevermore, unquoth.' "

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

The Proust of Twitter

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

T. S. Eliot

Edgar Rice-Burroughs first manuscript was rejected.

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

"Quick! The ideas are hatching!"