Literary Geniuses Gifts

'I was always told to write about what I know.'

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

The Proust of Twitter

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Quick! The ideas are hatching!"

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

Prisoner still life painting.

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

"The museum of modern art on fire... an installation."

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"I feel bad about Nora Ephron's neck."

The central metaphor of her novel was a fly.

Writer's Block Party

"See - that's how he's able to write all those plays."

T. S. Eliot

'Don't ask how much your hospital bill is because we have no way of knowing.'

Mozart's improvisational skills, along with his lack of financial security, often led to brilliant inspiration.

'You will write a book, but it won't be on Oprah's recommended list.'

Talking Books: 'Push button to hear what critics say about...'