Literary Minds Gifts

"His prose, however, is very elegant."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

The Proust of Twitter

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

'He was a great writer'

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'Look mum and dad! They let me keep my appendix!' - A young book excitedly showing off his appendix to his arriving parents.

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

"Dad, my web toon characters can't be normal! They have to be stereotyped crazies who are totally abnormal!"

Andre Gide.

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

"I feel bad about Nora Ephron's neck."

The central metaphor of her novel was a fly.

"I don't know how this ends. . ."

Writer's Block Party

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

A rose is a rose is a rose

'Ach, Herr Scrooge - ghost of this, ghost of that...serious delusions.'

"See - that's how he's able to write all those plays."

William Wordsworth

"Today we will focus on how the author makes the same exact complaints about here life, from her sixth birthday and on."

'And that one is the mistake I made in Act II, Scene III, line 14 of Hamlet.'