Literary Genius Admirers Gifts

'Give me your bag Oscar, if you want to do the genius gag.'

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

The Proust of Twitter

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

'He was a great writer'

Tequila Mockingbird

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'Look mum and dad! They let me keep my appendix!' - A young book excitedly showing off his appendix to his arriving parents.

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

Thomas Keneally

(First signs) (A half loaf of bread, ... a jug and a half of wine, and thou beside me.)

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"We thought about a restaurant and decided we were more of a bookstore."

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

Collected works

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

Leonardo's first drawing

"I feel bad about Nora Ephron's neck."

Book editor tells Jesus legal says he can't use title 'Greatest Story Ever Told'.

Writer's Block Party

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

'What do you mean, I'm not your type?'

The central metaphor of her novel was a fly.

"See - that's how he's able to write all those plays."

William Wordsworth

Spike Milligan