Literary Figures Gifts

'Here comes Orwell again - Get ready for some more of his 'I told you so.''

The Gweat Twain Wobbery.

Brothers Grimm

Victor Hugo

"Do me next."

Vlad the Impala

Honoré de Balzac

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

J. R. R. Tolkien

The Proust of Twitter

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

Barack Obama's To Do list.

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

"I'm in children's books, myself."

Jorge Luis Borges

Zora Neale Hurston

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

If the Brontë sisters wrote science fiction

Theodore Dreiser.

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

Christopher Isherwood

Voltaire

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

Stephen King

J. D. Salinger

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

Samuel Beckett