Literary Figures Pillows

'Here comes Orwell again - Get ready for some more of his 'I told you so.''

The Gweat Twain Wobbery.

Brothers Grimm

"Do me next."

Vlad the Impala

Honoré de Balzac

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

The Proust of Twitter

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

Barack Obama's To Do list.

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Jorge Luis Borges

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"I'm in children's books, myself."

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

If the Brontë sisters wrote science fiction

Voltaire

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

Edgar Allan Poe