Literary Hero Gifts

"Every day, thousands of manuscripts are abandoned by the side of the road and left to perish. Won't you help?"

"Do me next."

Victor Hugo

Honoré de Balzac

"He was a very good boy."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

J. R. R. Tolkien

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

Nervous Oral Testing

The Proust of Twitter

There were originally four musketeers. He said that the pen is mightier than the sword.

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Jorge Luis Borges

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

Zora Neale Hurston

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

"I'm in children's books, myself."

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

Christopher Isherwood

If the Brontë sisters wrote science fiction

Theodore Dreiser.

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

Samuel Beckett

Stephen King

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

J. D. Salinger

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

Edgar Allan Poe

The central metaphor of her novel was a fly.