Lyric Genius Gifts

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

The Proust of Twitter

Candid Camera store.

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

'Let's call him lucky!'

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

Man walking a long dog on a fishing rod.

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

Thumbing a Lift.

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

Prisoner still life painting.

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

"The museum of modern art on fire... an installation."

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

Giuseppe Verdi

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

"This is my own arrangement...of a song I wrote...about me."

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"