Lyrical Genius Gifts

License Bureau

"This is my own arrangement...of a song I wrote...about me."

'The music business.'

'This is a song about losing something you dearly love, searching for it everywhere and finally finding it only to lose it again. I call it 'Lookin' for my remote in all the wrong places'!'

F&E Songwriters. We have an order for a song for the hypochondriac society! Great! You write the words and I'll do the malady!

There are lots of great songs about cities, San Francisco, New York, Chicago, Oswego

"I'm a songbird, so I'm the band leader. You're a hummingbird, so you can't write lyrics and you're a mockingbird who can't write original music."

"Buck, Duck, Luck, Muck...." - Rap Rhyming Dictionary

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

Baby Piano

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

The Proust of Twitter

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

Sid Sinatra.

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

'Interview Dr. Witt for your esteemed journal? Of course, as soon as his play period is over.'

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

Prisoner still life painting.

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

"The museum of modern art on fire... an installation."

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

Giuseppe Verdi

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

Who's torturing a crow? I'm practicing my play. It's art! Which opens your mind to life's important questions. Right. Like what is art? Or do we need little brothers?

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

"I feel bad about Nora Ephron's neck."

Writer's Block Party

The central metaphor of her novel was a fly.