Lyrical Genius Pillows

License Bureau

"This is my own arrangement...of a song I wrote...about me."

'The music business.'

"I'm a songbird, so I'm the band leader. You're a hummingbird, so you can't write lyrics and you're a mockingbird who can't write original music."

"Buck, Duck, Luck, Muck...." - Rap Rhyming Dictionary

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

Baby Piano

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

The Proust of Twitter

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

Prisoner still life painting.

"The museum of modern art on fire... an installation."

Giuseppe Verdi

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"I feel bad about Nora Ephron's neck."

The central metaphor of her novel was a fly.

Writer's Block Party

T. S. Eliot

"See - that's how he's able to write all those plays."

Nocturne

"Well, we've for the melody down now, but I'm still not sure about the part where it goes, '...and they call the wind Dorcas Schnickelbaum.'"

'Don't ask how much your hospital bill is because we have no way of knowing.'