Aspiring Genius Gifts

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

How to win 'Genius Grants' for dummies.

'I love you and your father loves you. Now go paint a masterpiece.'

"He may be a child prodigy, but it's still a lousy C.V."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

What else is there to wish for?

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

'How about a toast to my breakthrough?!'

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Children's Imagination

The Idea of America.

A push in the right direction: 50c.

Brian, I hope you're taking this seriously.

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

"I've made a fortune as a successful artist! I couldn't see this happening if I became a soldier or a worker..."

Books: Self-Improvement Just keeping up with Joneses.

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

'Very impressive. Do you have any post-kindergarten education?'

"That'll be the day!"

'Oh Rats! I can't be creative with a box of flat crayons!'

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

"I've been an emerging artist for ten years now..."

'I need to practice painting the human figure, MOM! Models cost money!"

"It's beginning to appear as if I'll never have greatness thrust upon me."

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

'What do you want to be when you grow up?'