Aspiring Poet Gifts

There once was a clown from Nantucket … D'oh! I'll try again tomorrow. Maybe Thinking of clean limericks belongs in the advanced segment of Randy's Personal Growth System.

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

Blue Stockings - Female poet who has not sold any of her books

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"I try to write a little bit every day."

Stephen Spender.

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

"The rolling wheels...the ringing bells...signal the deliciousness of summer."

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

Thomas Hardy

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

Sinking with your heart

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

"I want you to meet What's-His-Name, the much-misunderstood writer."

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

Lord Byron

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

Limerick Airport

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

"Well, the falcon cannot hear the falconer, but the rough beast found a piece of string so I don't know where that leaves us."

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach