Superhero Aspirants Gifts

"With symptoms like yours, you could be the next Batman!"

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

The Family Joules: Part 6

"I've been genetically modified!"

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'I've got a cape. I think I can make it.'

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

"Sarge, he says he wants to make a 'fashion statement'!"

Inaction Figure

Mr. K's essay is such a drag! Yeah, but I've got to do really well. Twig! You're such a grind! Am not! Life isn't only about grades. I know! But he's directing the spring musical. And my singing won't get me the part all by itself! English: Gateway to the Grammys.

Why Superman flies himself

Mayhem, Inc. Part 2

'With one stroke of his fibre-tipped pen, Cartoonman laid waste to all that was evil...'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

"Ummm, hold up a second, old chum . . ."

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

Pigboy makes use of a box.

"Sure we'll get in trouble, but our science grades will make up for it."

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

"What can I DO? I'm Lightning Larry, for God's Sake!"

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

'This is Role Model Man. He is our new assistant coach in charge of projecting a positive image to impressionable young minds.'

Birth of a superhero

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."