Autograph Aficionado Gifts

'Him?.. Oh, he's the guy who discovered fire.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

Autograph hunters

'You won't find much use for that, most celebrities go to the other place.'

"It's not for myself, you understand!"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

You're my Mona Lisa.

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Copycats

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Paul Klee

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Cariactures

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

(Camel paintings)

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

German Expressionist Breakfast

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Horti-Culture

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

Distractions Of The Great

"Mr. Right!"

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Baroque Peacock

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."