Audiovisual Technician Gifts

"This kind flies around. Or do you want to rent a monotone speaker for your conference?"

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'Why don't you ever look at ME that way?'

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

'What luck! A sound technician.'

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Subwoofer

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'

Man and Machine snoozing

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

'I told you we should have gone wireless.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

Best Special Effects Award

"Why haven't noise cancelling headphones been invented yet?"

"Turn down the bass."

"Someone is at the front door."

'Damn ! I don't have a clue where we are.'

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

An Audio Technician's Pocket Knife

NYC Department of Sanitation

'If you see the congregation start to fall asleep, could you give me a little microphone feedback?'

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'

'This beauty will give you that British sound. It will convert your nasal twang into proper Queen's English.

'Six disc CD changer, six hundred watt multi-amp, 800 watt sub, I tell you man this monster rocks!!'

'Here is your new stereo. It's got a SupaDeep Woofer System, with it's high octane surround sound, I'm sure it will fit smoothly into your life. But for God's sake; don't turn it on.'

'I thought you knew we play heavy metal.'

Theater Owner Who Refused To Convert To Digital Projection.