Audio Technician Gifts

'Hang on, the analysis of the Audiospectrograph of that call indicates it's a decoy...'

'Buy you new equipment? Are you kidding? Our budget is already so tight that we have a kazooist because we can't afford an organ.'

'Can you tell me where the ON button is?"

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

'Why don't you ever look at ME that way?'

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

Born to be a Sound Engineer.

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'

A Meeting of Audio Buffs.

'Can I help it if I was given all thumbs and two left feet?'

'Maybe next concert we should ease up on the volume.'

'Not still responding with your ratatat machine-gun FX are you, Rigby?'

Looks like the band and the sound engineer in studio 8 had a difference of opinion again.

Speaker Farmer.

'Whom should I call first? 911 or the audio technician?'

An Audio Technician's Pocket Knife

'Congratulations, its a six pound audio technician.'

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that The Church For the Tone Deaf finally updated it's sound system.'

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

"I know! Let's install a digital media head unit with wi-fi connectivity...a 340-watt four-channel amp...and two 18-inch subwoofers with four 1-OHM voice coils!"

"Turn down the bass."

The laugh track refuses to work, but I can't see the problem."

"Those must be the old-school, wearable speakers you were talking about."

OBSOLETE: Any piece of audio equipment you bought last year for mega bucks.

'I thought you knew we play heavy metal.'

'Looks like the band and the sound technician had a difference of opinion again during a sound check.'

NYC Department of Sanitation

'The Feng Shui of this auditorium must be off.'

'I told you we should have gone wireless.'

'It needed rebooting.'

Man and Machine snoozing

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'

Microphone adjustment.

'Don't worry, the first 30 years working as a sound engineer are the hardest.'