Sound Technician Gifts

'If you see the congregation start to fall asleep, could you give me a little microphone feedback?'

"It's not your phone—they're playing 'Für Elise.'"

Subwoofer

'This beauty will give you that British sound. It will convert your nasal twang into proper Queen's English.

Interview a bird.

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'

'Six disc CD changer, six hundred watt multi-amp, 800 watt sub, I tell you man this monster rocks!!'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

Foolproof Sound System

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

'Why don't you ever look at ME that way?'

"We are sooo in tune with each other...!"

"Okay, now cry."

Well, it's not my fault if nobody bothered to tune the microphone.'

The Audio Book Club

'What luck! A sound technician.'

'Casualty, Take one' clapper board traps persons finger

Roadie rage.

"I'm operating it remotely as we speak! ...and no one even knows I'm gone!"

"Pardon me, but I couldn't help overhearing your conversation."

"Ball boys ready? Linesmen ready? Players ready? Sound technologists ready?"

'The following ocean sounds are monitored for quality assurance. . .'

Microphone Feedback

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

'Congratulations, its a six pound audio technician.'

An Audio Technician's Pocket Knife

'Whom should I call first? 911 or the audio technician?'

'Doctor, I just can't seem to relate to my audio equipment these days.'

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

OBSOLETE: Any piece of audio equipment you bought last year for mega bucks.

Singer using Fan

'The Feng Shui of this auditorium must be off.'

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

'Damn ! I don't have a clue where we are.'

'Hoarse play.'