Audio Visual Specialist Gifts

Service plan 24-7

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

Freedom of the Press

'How fast can you hype?'

Go Play Outside - it's so real, you kids will almost smell the virtual fresh air!

'These virtual-reality goggles are great! Right now, I'm sun-bathing in Tahiti...'

"Well, Sara Kalen is wrong – Edward Snowden is not a 'tattletale.'"

The Truth

“He runs the top Virtual Reality company in the world. In fact, that’s not really him.”

"I'll check your circulation."

'For the next sixty seconds, this station will totally freak out....'

Federal Departument of Edutainment.

'We don't believe a word of this c.v... And we'd like to offer you a job.'

'Didn't I tell you to take up some hobby other than opera?'

"And that was the news. . . But please feel free to go online and vent your spite, spread your conspiracy theories and promote your ill-informed opinions. . ."

"As a voter, I don't follow any party line, I follow a cable channel."

'You idiot, Martin, you don't need those silly glasses to get an amazing 3-D effect. . . this is a PLAY!'

Think Tank: Not responsible for lost or stolen intellectual property.

"You know that theory....that we're all part of a giant computer program?..."

"This kind flies around. Or do you want to rent a monotone speaker for your conference?"

Guide dog looks at ball that has gone over wall.

"Well, Mr. Swanson, I don't know that I can help you improve your standing in your focus group, but I can definitely check out your visual focus."

'Wait a sec...do you want that comment off the record or out of context?'

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

"Government requires that we lower the bar."

Don't worry Sir, being colour-blind is not much of a problem around here...

The Seeing-Eye Squirrel

'Their offense is shifty and often ruthless. I want you to study the videotapes - especially this one showing their quarterback robbing a convenience store at gunpoint.'

Eye clinic