Television Technician Gifts

Birds sitting on aerial, one says to the other; 'I hear they're going to cable.'

Wide-screen TV window cleaning

'This is our concept of how people will eventually adapt to all the wider screens.'

"It's a very common problem, sir, and here's a simple diagnostic test you can try: If you click the remote and it goes away, it's a TV show. If it DOESN'T go away, it's reality. Hey, you're welcome! Glad I could help you!"

'It's simple economics - TV sets get smarter, TV programs get dumber.'

Focus Group in session - 1. Contrast, 2. Sharpness, 3. Vertical hold, 4. Horizontal hold.

A rare glimpse of the African antennalope.

"Janet, the television man is here"

'This has NOT been a test- we just like to annoy you with irritating noises!'

'Novelty utensils to go with my satellite dish! Cool, huh?'

Man retuning his telly to get a closer look at the presenters breasts

Trying to get a TV reception from a bald head.

Artist painting TV waves.

'The halos are there to improve reception.'

Death by Television

'We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by...'

Bird box with satellite dish.

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

Digital Tuna.

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

"How embarrassing, I'm literally glued to the television."

"Get a move on Hardwicke, we need it for the 6 o'clock news!"

"Hey, you've fixed the telly too!"

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

'There's nothing wrong with the sound, lady, it's a Party Political broadcast, that's all.'

Audiovisual law

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

"The opening night is always a bit special!"

TV Repair 101.

'I hear they're going to cable.'

"Sky, sir?"