Television Repair Specialist Gifts

"I'm afraid there's nothing I can do to improve the quality of the programmes, Madam."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

"How embarrassing, I'm literally glued to the television."

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

"Hey, you've fixed the telly too!"

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

"Television repairs....Don't you want to see my identity?"

'There's nothing wrong with the sound, lady, it's a Party Political broadcast, that's all.'

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

Here's your problem. You have an iPod.

TV Repair 101.

'We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by...'

'Funny, it usually works OK after you've given it a hefty kick.'

"We can have your drone here fixed in a day or. . . if it sits still."

"Sky, sir?"

"Cable company. . . ? I want to know why my television picture is totally upside down all the time!!"

Customer to TV repair man - "Thank god you got here. I was beginning to wander around."

'Odd as it may seem, it needs oil.'

'You say your picture's funny?...I'm surprised you got a picture at all. That's a microwave oven!'

'And here's the little feller that'll have been the cause of all your problems. . .'

'There's a lot we don't know about horizontal TV syndrome.'

Digital Tuna.

"He's here to help install our new converter box."

'Hey! You forgot the TV!'

'The shows will look the same, but the commercials appear in 3-D high definition.'

"It's a very common problem, sir, and here's a simple diagnostic test you can try: If you click the remote and it goes away, it's a TV show. If it DOESN'T go away, it's reality. Hey, you're welcome! Glad I could help you!"

For the last time, I know the basement is wet….

Space alien enters TV store to have his antennas adjusted.

'I agree-Gary Lineker can get up your nose sometimes,but...'

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

'Well, I've managed to get rid of the annoying double vision effect on your T.V.'

'Sacked? Just like that - with no explanation?'