Television Repair Gifts

'Can you fix it? Justice must be seen to be done!'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

"How embarrassing, I'm literally glued to the television."

"Hey, you've fixed the telly too!"

Artist Painting his Television.

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

"Television repairs....Don't you want to see my identity?"

'There's nothing wrong with the sound, lady, it's a Party Political broadcast, that's all.'

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

TV Repair 101.

"Sky, sir?"

"Cable company. . . ? I want to know why my television picture is totally upside down all the time!!"

'We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by...'

"We can have your drone here fixed in a day or. . . if it sits still."

Customer to TV repair man - "Thank god you got here. I was beginning to wander around."

'You say your picture's funny?...I'm surprised you got a picture at all. That's a microwave oven!'

e. e. cummings explained. 'It's all fixed, sir, all that is except the shift key.'

"It's a very common problem, sir, and here's a simple diagnostic test you can try: If you click the remote and it goes away, it's a TV show. If it DOESN'T go away, it's reality. Hey, you're welcome! Glad I could help you!"

'The shows will look the same, but the commercials appear in 3-D high definition.'

Space alien enters TV store to have his antennas adjusted.

'There's a lot we don't know about horizontal TV syndrome.'

Digital Tuna.

"He's here to help install our new converter box."

'Hey! You forgot the TV!'

'I agree-Gary Lineker can get up your nose sometimes,but...'

'And here's the little feller that'll have been the cause of all your problems. . .'

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

'Well, I've managed to get rid of the annoying double vision effect on your T.V.'

'I can fix the fuzziness and the vertical hold, but I can't do anything about Chris Matthews.'

"It went blank, then I missed Oprah, figure out the rest!"

'The next door neighbor's dang psychic waves keep interfering with my reception.'

"I told you... a TV in the bedroom inevitably leads to a TV repairman in the bedroom."