Tv Troubleshooting Expert Gifts

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

"How embarrassing, I'm literally glued to the television."

"Hey, you've fixed the telly too!"

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

'There's nothing wrong with the sound, lady, it's a Party Political broadcast, that's all.'

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

'And this is where they switched to High Definition.'

'The computer mentions 'virus' but I'm not sure whether it's in the software or you.'

TV Repair 101.

"When I know he's had a rough day, I always put a few drops of lavender on the TV remote before he gets home."

"Cable company. . . ? I want to know why my television picture is totally upside down all the time!!"

'We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by...'

"Sarge, the computer won't let me retrieve the criminal files."

Customer to TV repair man - "Thank god you got here. I was beginning to wander around."

'You say your picture's funny?...I'm surprised you got a picture at all. That's a microwave oven!'

Space alien enters TV store to have his antennas adjusted.

"It's a very common problem, sir, and here's a simple diagnostic test you can try: If you click the remote and it goes away, it's a TV show. If it DOESN'T go away, it's reality. Hey, you're welcome! Glad I could help you!"

"He's here to help install our new converter box."

'The shows will look the same, but the commercials appear in 3-D high definition.'

Nostalgia TV.

Digital Tuna.

'Hey! You forgot the TV!'

'And here's the little feller that'll have been the cause of all your problems. . .'

'There's a lot we don't know about horizontal TV syndrome.'

"You have reached technical support...your call is important to us so please stay on the line..."

'Well, I've managed to get rid of the annoying double vision effect on your T.V.'

"I told you... a TV in the bedroom inevitably leads to a TV repairman in the bedroom."

'See, you misread it - it's void where prohibited by lou!'

'I can fix the fuzziness and the vertical hold, but I can't do anything about Chris Matthews.'

'Sacked? Just like that - with no explanation?'

'The next door neighbor's dang psychic waves keep interfering with my reception.'

'It was working perfectly until his team lost 15-0'.

'Novelty utensils to go with my satellite dish! Cool, huh?'