Atheism Enthusiast Gifts

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

Christmas Trees of the Stars: Richard Dawkins.

"If I behaved like your god, I'd be arrested."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Priest

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"What did Jesus order?"

The ecumenical dinner party.

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

OM, SWEET OM

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

'Oh, I'm okay, I guess - I just thought enlightenment would be more FUN than this.'

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

American Venn diagram

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

Truth