Atheist Humor Lover Gifts

'Every Sunday I thank God that I'm an atheist!'

Night-time halo

"OMG, LOL!"

'Please take your receipt!'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

Pre-nuptual Nativity

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

Nativity - The sitcom

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

"Thanks Moses, but I prefer my water bottled."

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

'Actually, we were hoping for a less high-maintenance God.'

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

God changes His will.

'In conclusion, it's more blessed to give than retrieve.'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

''Halliburton'? Wait a minute! -- I meant for the MEEK to inherit the Earth!'

I brought my lawyer to go over the small print.

"The dove must be back."

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

'Oh, ick! -- I just stepped on a fish!'

REPENT, 'Hey! -- Go find your own corner!'

Smite Golfer or Cow?