Atheist Gifts

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: '...Not according to the holy scriptures of the one true religion...and since they're holy scriptures, they can not be questioned...ever!'

Professor Stephen Hawking

Richard Dawkins realises there is a God after all.

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

'I'm an atheist!'

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"I really don't care what yours says. My weather app says rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I think you should probably go with that, Noah."

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"Nonsense - we're far less religious than you are."

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

'I propose a day of mild exasperation in response to Richard Dawkins.'

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

Not so heavenly

'Jesus? Jesus who?'

Atheist United - A Non-Prophet Organization

"Any church that requires a fire hydrant is admitting it's a fraud."

"And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin..."

"Why does your all-knowing, all-powerful god need marketing?"

'Of course there's a Richard Dawkins! Who do you thin changes the water?'

'Oh my god!'

On the buses...I stopped off for a beer and back rub.

"I think you've got the wrong person - I'm an atheist."

"Why do you keep insisting atheists are 'Satan-worshipers'? If we don't believe in your imaginary friend, why would we believe in your imaginary friend's imaginary enemy?"

'Yeah, I'm an atheist - and a damn good one.'

'My Atheist blog has developed a cult following. If that's not ironic, I don't know what is.'

What's the matter, baby? Henry says he's an atheist, Mum. He doesn't believe in hell. Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is.

Atheism inc. - A Not-For-Prophet Organisation

"I know what I look like. But I'm an atheist, and I reject your theocentric nomenclature."

"If I behaved like your god, I'd be arrested."

"Michael Sherlock once said: 'Religion isn't about peace, love, or the betterment of our species, it's about power and control. Religion uses fear to control and milk its flocks. Fear of God. Fear of the Devil. Fear of death. Fear of being seen as deviant for expressing non-belief. Fear of social sanctions and in some countries, fear of legal sanctions. Fear is a powerful tool to manipulate the masses and religion has mastered its employment.' ..."

Sign 'God is dead!" youth asking "Who's God?"