Atheism Gifts

Sign 'God is dead!" youth asking "Who's God?"

Atheism inc. - A Not-For-Prophet Organisation

'Of course there's a Richard Dawkins! Who do you thin changes the water?'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"If atheism is good enough for dogs, it's good enough for you."

On the buses...I stopped off for a beer and back rub.

'He's taking no chances since he turned atheist.'

'Oh my god!'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"Why do you keep insisting atheists are 'Satan-worshipers'? If we don't believe in your imaginary friend, why would we believe in your imaginary friend's imaginary enemy?"

"Your god made me an atheist! How dare you question his wisdom?!"

"My shirt offends you? Wait until you read the back."

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"Nonsense - we're far less religious than you are."

"It would be terrible if atheists ran things. No weekends."

"Yup, we use atheists for room service..."

Richard Dawkins realises there is a God after all.

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

"A chicken and two dogs walk into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke, but there's no God."

"I think you've got the wrong person - I'm an atheist."

"I sold my soul to the Devil but the joke's on him. I'm an atheist!"

Atheism Is A Non-Prophet Organization

"Any church that requires a fire hydrant is admitting it's a fraud."

Jehovah's Witness comeback...

"Michael Sherlock once said: 'Religion isn't about peace, love, or the betterment of our species, it's about power and control. Religion uses fear to control and milk its flocks. Fear of God. Fear of the Devil. Fear of death. Fear of being seen as deviant for expressing non-belief. Fear of social sanctions and in some countries, fear of legal sanctions. Fear is a powerful tool to manipulate the masses and religion has mastered its employment.' ..."

Atheist Fleas

'Jesus? Jesus who?'

Atheist United - A Non-Prophet Organization

"Atheist are hard to recruit! They hate foxholes!"

"Guess who has two thumbs and did not waste HIS Sunday morning listening to lies."

"You can pray for my soul, but I reserve the right to roll my eyes and make a jerking-off motion while you do it."

Think for yourself...

What's the matter, baby? Henry says he's an atheist, Mum. He doesn't believe in hell. Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is.

'I'm an atheist!'