Atheism Aficionado Gifts

"How can it be an 'Act of God'? Your policy states you're an atheist."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Nun Fight.

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Schrodinger's Black Box

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

The ecumenical dinner party.

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

Ironing Punctuation

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

"What did Jesus order?"

My Literary Influences

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

Hollywood Breakup

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'