Theology Aficionado Gifts

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Really? - You wrote these with ME in mind?'

The Second-to-last Supper.

'We seem to be at that point where science leaves off and theology begins.'

'Are these in order of importance? - You know, in case there's a conflict?'

'If Satan did all the mischief attributed to him, then, at least, one would have to admire his work ethic.'

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"OMG, LOL!"

Nun Fight.

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Schrodinger's Black Box

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

Priest

Dogma

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

My Literary Influences

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

"God works in mysterious ways."

Ironing Punctuation

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

"Well, the falcon cannot hear the falconer, but the rough beast found a piece of string so I don't know where that leaves us."