Atheist Philosopher Gifts

"I know what I look like. But I'm an atheist, and I reject your theocentric nomenclature."

'I'm an atheist!'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"Are you sure it's okay for cardinals to live at a Protestant church?"

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

Out for lunch... GOD

Priest

"Nonsense - we're far less religious than you are."

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

"I would cite you to the Apostle Paul and his lear and wise command in Romans 13, to obey the laws of the government because God has ordained the government for his purposes."

"I don't think so."

"So Jesus, what denomination are you?"

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'I propose a day of mild exasperation in response to Richard Dawkins.'

Religion, This End Up

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

"Any church that requires a fire hydrant is admitting it's a fraud."

"We're not too concerned about him not graduating. We've only made it to tenth grade so we're already proud."

"I just reviewed your life...Here's your handbasket."

Atheist United - A Non-Prophet Organization