Present Philosopher Gifts

"Christmas, birthdays...this divine guide will help you deal with idiotic gifts..."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

Humans...What is their purpose?

Ban on Free Speech

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

Historical memory is on life support.

The Googler

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

Voltaire

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

Jean-Paul Sartre

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

What's normal?

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"