Modern Philosopher Gifts

"It's just the virtue signal - unfortunately, it doesn't do much."

'Then, once you discover what it is you are searching for, just type it into the search engine.'

'It's not that I reject your values, mom and dad. It's just that I've evolved and you haven't.'

'I'm beginning to think the definition of 'hero' isn't what it used to be.'

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

"These feelings of yours aren't unusual - in fact, several of them have Web sites."

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

Desert Island with CCTV.

Caller ID - "Who am I?"

'I don't have much formal education, but I've googled a lot of things.'

'It all sounds good but I want something I can get in pill form.'

"Oh I don't think it's as bad as all that. In fact, I think we're in the golden age of something which we won't even realize it's the golden age of until many years from now."

'I have a big inferiority complex. I don't have a website.'

Temporarily Off-line.

'What's the wi-fi like?'

"Hello? Jack Anderson?"

"They're prototypes. Eventually they'll be touchscreen."

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

"I wasn't copying off others. I was crowdsourcing the answers."

"I think I got it,but, just the same, could you send me the link?"

"The bad news is that the voices in my head have started text messaging me."

"I don't want to be defined by who I am."

"Now, how about some affirmations to balance all this negativity?"

"I'm not praying. I was just looking for a quiet and shady place to use my smartphone."

"I got rid of all the excess in my life."

'I'm at the point in life where I don't care about the past, I live in the moment.'

Coronavirus smiley

Man using internet search engine: 'I'm trying to find myself,'

"Sorry - I don't have any opinions...I've left my computer at home."

"Have you tried oversharing deeply personal thoughts on social media to help with the phone addiction?"

"A job? Can't I just start a Go Fund Me page?"

"I'm on zero-hour contract - they only feed me if they need me."

'Did you try 'Google'?'

'Wow, the support for legalizing marijuana is really picking up!'

"I pick up most of my wisdom from celebrity interviews.'