Modern Philosophers Gifts

'I really miss the old days when we were smarter than our phones.'

"I need attention! Does anybody have any?"

"The meaning of life? Didn't you see the FAQ on my website?"

"So far, the collapse of civilization hasn't particularly affected my life style."

Feel Like A Contributing Member of Society....

"I really gotta turn off these notifications."

Please help - Experiment Went Horribly Wrong...

Updated Classic: The Gripes of Wrath

"E.mail address?"

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

"What services the cable company hath bundled, let no man attempt to unbundle!"

"What do I want to be when I grow up? See the FAQ page on my website."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Thinking Gears

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

Humans...What is their purpose?

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

Ban on Free Speech

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

Historical memory is on life support.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

The Googler

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."